Nanowrimo

Context and Reflection

I chose an excerpt from my Nanowrimo piece. I chose this piece because I wrote this near the beginning of the year, so I still had poor writing skills. When I read this piece unrevised, I found my descriptions were weak. After I revised it this piece looked better. I think I got better at revising too. I think my writing improved a lot this year compared to last year.    

The Piece

James woke up when he heard a knock on the front door. He opened his eyes and looked at the clock besides his bed; it was 4:49 in the morning.

He heard the knock again.

“Why would anyone want to come to my house this early in the morning?” he wondered. He decided to ignore it, but the knocking became louder. Finally he climbed slowly out of the bed and quickly got dressed. Then he opened his bedroom door.

The house was still dark, it felt empty and cold. James turned on the light and started to climb down the stairs. The steps creaked under him as he took every step. He thought about going back to bed once or twice, but the knocking didn’t stop. So he kept going until he climbed off the last step.

His parents weren’t awake yet.

“Of course,” he thought. “It’s 4:50 in the morning, why would anyone be awake.” He walked up to the door and he reached his hand to the door handle. The knocking stopped. For a second he stood still, and then he opened the door.

No one was there. It was still dark outside, and the cold morning air made James want to go back inside. He looked down at the doorstep and found a small envelope laying there. He hesitated, then he bent over picked it up.

The envelope was completely blank. He opened the envelope and saw a piece of paper and a small golden key inside it. He tipped the mysterious objects onto his hand. He looked at the key first; it looked old, it was very simple looking, but he had a feeling that he was going to use it later. So he shoved it into his jeans pocket. James then looked closely at the paper, and he saw writing on it. It said;

Dear James,

I want you to come to the house on the end of the street by 7 o’clock. Use the key that was in the envelope to open the door. Do not let anyone know about it and make sure that you’re not being followed.

             It didn’t say who it was from or why James has to go there. He took the envelope back to his room and sat on his bed staring at the note. He decided not to tell his parents about the letter since it said not to tell anyone.

 

About the Author

My name is Ryuki Yamasaki and I’m 12 years old. I am a 7th grade student at Dewitt Middle School. I love fantasy books so I wrote a fantasy story. Compared to last year I think my writing skills have improved. Last year I used to have many run-on sentences, bad spelling and bad grammar. I was also really bad at describing too. Now I don’t have run-on sentences, decent spelling and grammar. In my whole Nanowrimo story I think I did a pretty good job describing things. 7th grade has made me a better writer.

 

 

How I've Improved as a Writer

Liana Raguso

Period 4

Part 1: Context and Reflection

For my final exam I chose to revise an old reading reflection. This was an assignment given during state test season, and we were supposed to write about the most entertaining book we had ever read, and recommend it to classmates as a good book to get rid of stress during state tests. I chose this piece because I thought that it was already pretty good, but some parts of it could use a little cleaning up. I mostly just clarified some of the plot summary and varied the sentence structures when I gave my opinion. These changes make my piece easier to understand and more fun to read.

Part 2: The Piece

The funniest book series I have ever read is probably The Mortal Instruments, by Cassandra Clare. The books are, in order, City of Bones, City of Ashes, City of Glass, City of Fallen Angels, City of Lost Souls, and City of Heavenly Fire.These books are about a group of people called Shadowhunters, who have the blood of angels. Their job is to kill demons, and protect mundies (non-Shadowhunters). There are also werewolves, vampires, faeries, and other creatures, which Shadowhunters don’t attack (usually). A while back, a Shadowhunter named Valentine wanted to kill all non-humans. He gathered a loyal group of followers called the Circle, and they attacked the other Shadowhunters. The Circle was defeated, and it was thought that Valentine had committed suicide. However, now it seems like Valentine might not actually be dead, and might be on the rise again. The protagonist is a teenage girl named Clary Fray, who witnesses some Shadowhunters killing a demon while she's at a club with her best friend Simon. This makes her question the reality of her mundie way of life, but she convinces herself that nothing is wrong. Then a few days later, her mother disappears and Clary has to work with Shadowhunters to get her mother back. She goes to the Institute, where the Shadowhunters live, and meets some Shadowhunters (Jace, Alec, and Izzy) and their teacher (Hodge). And it turns out that Clary, who has lived her whole life as a normal girl, is actually a Shadowhunter, and that her mother is nowhere near what she seems. Eventually, this series goes from mystery to pure fantasy, when Clary's goals start to shift from finding her mother and going back to her normal life to protecting the Shadowhunters from a threat within their own organization.

Frankly, I don't think this series is particularly good. In the first three books, almost every plot element is copied from other popular series (mostly Harry Potter and Percy Jackson). For example, the whole thing about people with special powers passed down through their bloodstream and a secret underground world of magic with werewolves and the like is a little too Harry Potterish for me to fully enjoy, and the way that mundies don't see this world is a little too much like Percy Jackson. The way that Clary finally finds the location of the Mortal Cup is just a little too similar to how Harry finds the Sorcerer's Stone, and the battle on the ship is like the Percy Jackson ship battle. The most striking similarity between this series and another is the concept of Valentine and the Circle, which is almost completely copied from Voldemort and the Death Eaters in Harry Potter. The second three books in the series are a little more original, but I don’t think they should have been written in the first place. The series was originally supposed to stop after the first three books, but it was just dragged out. None of the books are particularly well written-- there are lots of tiny inconsistencies. Characters who had one belief in one chapter will suddenly have the opposite belief in a different chapter. A device called the Sensor is used in earlier books and completely forgotten about in later ones. A character is described as acting a certain way, then proceeds to act in exactly the opposite manner. And throughout the whole series there seems to be too simplistic of a divide between good and evil.

That being said... these books are VERY funny. The dialogue is witty and amusing. These books are action packed, so the reader is never bored. The characters are funny and you can relate to them, even if they're not completely 3 Dimensional. There are just so many moments that make you laugh out loud. These books are the kind of books you can't put down. Even after reading them, and recognizing that they weren't actually very good, I wanted to start reading them again. And again. These books are an extremely enjoyable read. So my overall analysis? These books aren't good. They won't be remembered ten years from now. They're not even original. But if you want something to read to relax and laugh after a state test, these books are the books for you.

Part 3: About the Author

Hello, I’m Liana. In general I am a pretty good student. Over the course of this year, my writing has improved a lot. Last year my writing was a lot more formulaic and boring, but this year I have become more comfortable with putting more of my voice into my writing because of Ms. Cernera's encouragement. A huge thank you to Ms. Cernera for giving me a great year in English!

Shakespeare Is Fresh

I choose this because Shakespeare is fresh in my mind and I might as well keep doing it. I also choose it because this is the hardest project I ever done. 

Revised

The revised pieces of my writing is mostly me fixing minor mistakes and i had to choose 1 different example for the insult the insult video. 

About the Author

A little about myself I like playing video games, reading, and hanging out with my family. That it.

Shakespeare In Modern Culture

Shakespeare has his own unique language. His proof? In his plays. I think Shakespeare does influence modern culture. How does he influence modern culture? Through modern language. One example of how Shakespeare influenced modern culture is in the video “Insults By Shakespeare.” In the play “Romeo and Juliet”, Shakespeare uses the insult of biting your thumb. You must be thinking “How is that an insult.” well back in Shakespeare’s time biting your thumb was like flicking someone off. and even if how it was done changed it still is used in the same way. Another Example of is the word Swagger from the video “10 Words Shakespeare Invented.” The word which is used a lot in today’s culture first appeared in Shakespeare’s play “a Midsummer night's dream. In the play the word did not mean you were cool like in today’s culture.  It was used to describe a foolish man. This connects because even though the meaning changed the word is still very much alive. As you can see Shakespeare really did influence modern culture today’s language and culture.

My friends house

Olushiana Gbengbe

Last week I went to my friends Shylynns house. Before we went to her house we went to Ithaca Kids. Ithaca Kids is where you get out the house and have fun with older people. so we went to Ithaca Kids and we played this game were we had to get the most rhyming words that when with, Green, Leaves,yellow, etc, we won and we got a point. Another game we played is that we had to answer questions about Saint Patrick Day. Nobody really knew about that day so we just guessed on all of them. Another game we played was we had to get the york peppermint pattie off your forehead and into your mouth…….

About the author

‘

I like to play basketball,lacrosse,and sometimes i like it play football. I lived in syracuse up until 2nd grade and then i moved here. i wish i still lived in syracuse because all of my family lives in syracuse.    

Christopher Hemly English

6/19/15 Per. 9

Context and Reflection

It’s an assignment that I did after I read Me and My Shadow a poem by Arthur Dorros. When I wrote it, I did one draft before I typed it. I am showing off my ability to write poetry. The reason I’m choosing this poem is because it’s one of my best pieces of writing. My poem is titled Shadow. In the process of editing my poem, I added a new stanza. This stanza will give my poem more mystery.

    “Shadow”

A shadow is you!

It follows you outside

sometimes it disappears other times he says HI!

once my shadow died

I wish my shadow did not trick me

I wonder where my shadow lives?

About the Author

christopher hemly wishes he could talk about himself in the third person in this “About the Author” section. Sadly, he can’t. So he will do it in the first person, somewhat reluctantly. Once we offered to exile Leland, he agreed.

Will hi classmates how is your day “ps I do not care” wall I am tarubal in english. I have not improved in english.

Kenny

Context and Reflection

The assignment I chose is 10 Words Shakespeare Invented. This assignment shows my best writing because it shows that I used details. It shows that creative writing is a difficult thing to do but I was able to do it. This piece of writing changed when I added more detail. I also changed some of the grammar and spelling.

“10 Words Shakespeare Invented” 5/22/15  

shakespeare’s has influenced modern language Shakespeare’s language had a creative influence on modern culture. One way shakespeare has influenced modern culture is in his words.  For example, swagger, bedazzled and green eyed monster are his words used (10 Words Shakespeare Invented).  This shows that Shakespeare has some good words he created. Another way Shakespeare’s language has influenced modern culture is with movies.  They have made a modern day Romeo and Juliet movie  of Shakespeare’s play and more than 100 movies  Overall, Shakespeare’s language has changed modern day culture.

About the Authori,

m is name is kenny. i love  pizza,games,physical work and fun. I read more than ever this year. Nothing has changed with my writing.

“villain”

Context and Reflection

For my final exam ( *villain* ), I chose my writing on my favorite villain the Joker. I chose it because I got a 90 on this and it was the shortest writing I had. When I was revising it I noticed that I should not have gotten a 90 on it, there were a lot of mistakes.The original piece was a little less put together; I think that I was not paying that much attention to what I was writing and just focusing on getting it done. To change this I just zeroed in on the mistakes to make sure it was sure there were no errors.

The Piece

un-revised

My favorite villain is the Joker because he comes up with the best ideas, not that they are good ones. The Joker has a twisted mind I mean his own dad cut his mouth to look like he was smiling. The main reason he is my favorite villain is because he is the antagonist to my favorite hero BatMan.The joker and BatMan go at it all the time they probably will not stop fighting until they die. The joker is probably the smartest villain you will ever hear about I don’t know how but he knows so much.He has a answer to everything you ask him.

Revised

My favorite villain is the Joker because he comes up with the best ideas, not that they are good ones. The Joker has a twisted mind; I mean his own dad cut his mouth to look like he was smiling. The main reason he is my favorite villain is because he is the antagonist to my favorite hero BatMan. The joker and BatMan go at it all the time, they probably will not stop fighting until they die.The joker is probably the smartest villain you will ever hear about, I don’t know how, but he knows so much. He has a answer to everything you ask him.

About the Author

I’m DaeJahd Leckey. I love  Basketball, Baseball, And Football, but I also like Lacrosse; I did not play Lacrosse this past season but I’m hoping to play the next season coming up. This year I had a few transitions, I went from Boynton to a school in North Carolina and back to Dewitt all in the same school year. I went from school to school to school because I moved to North Carolina and went there for about a month because I did not like it, so I came back to Ithaca and I did not like Boynton so I decided I would try Dewitt. I think I will stay at Dewitt for next year; I had fun and I think I learned more. Hope to see everyone next year.  

Tristan Hyde ELA

12/4/14            Period 8

I  am presenting this piece because it was really bad before I revised it. This was from Nanowrimo which is a month long writing challenge. I chose this piece because of all the mistakes  that were on the writing.  

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Ronnie Miller

Hey my name is Ronnie Miller I race for pro circuit kawasaki. I race the Supercross and Motocross in the National AMA series around the US. My team manager is Juan Carlos De Los Parlantes De Amadeo (we call him JCD for fun) and my mechanic is Ryan Villopoto. If I could compare myself to a animal, I would be a cheetah because I’m fast. And I have had the best supercross season ever. I’ve won 7 out of the last 8 events rounds. And that stinks because I lost to my biggest rival Adam Cianciarulo. And there is one coming up in 1 week in Las Vegas,  Nevada. And I've been training hard  at the compound making adjustments to the bike.

Race Day

After getting all the machines ready for the race, there was practice. And  guess who was out there at the same time as me? Thats right Adam. And he was especially annoying today.  He was riding fast on my tail then slow in front of me. Eventually he made me quit practicing because he wouldn't leave me alone on the track! The race was in 2 hours, so I had to just relax and wait for the gate drop.

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Hi my name is Tristan. I strongly dislike school because everyone is annoying. Last year, my writing stamina was very short but this year it has grown because of the writing sprints. I think I have improved because I have tried harder this year.

Fast Pitch

Context and Reflection:

For the English Final Exam, I decided to choose one of my “Slice Of Life” pieces called Fast Pitch. I chose this piece because I saw it had a lot of potential featuring good descriptions and tons of imagery. When I looked over this specific piece, I could easily brainstorm the possible great improvements. When I was revising, I noticed my original piece didn’t fully communicate the excitement around the action. Tracing over the piece, I included a little more adjectives in there to help out the imagery. This step helped enhance the story. When revising, I decided to “jazz” it up a little by using words you don't normally see everyday. This process of improving my word choice made my work look more mature and professional. Instead of saying “the pitcher threw very fast”, I wrote, “One second it was in the pitcher's hand, the next it was in the catcher's glove.” I put in a whole awful lot of description and imagery in my writing. In preference of words that you know off the bat, I gave descriptions for the reader to better understand my thinking.The imagery helped place a picture in my readers’ heads, like the story was happening all over again.

Fast Pitch

I was waiting on deck, with butterflies fluttering in my stomach. I gripped the bat with my shaky, sweaty hands. It was my first time to bat this season, I haven't hit in a game since last spring. Not to mention, this was my first time playing fast pitch. I closed my eyes and took a deep breathe. All I could think of was "I'm so not ready". I tried to be confident, but so far that hasn't worked. The negativity was taking control of my mind. The pitcher threw hard fast strikes one after another, as if she had been practicing her whole entire life. I kicked the dirt off my cleats trying to waste time. I was almost up. So far, the pitcher struck out two of our best players in a row... and then it was my turn. I stepped up to the plate, listening to everyone cheering me on. I took a couple practice swings before I stepped into the clearly outlined batting box. I lined up my feet as I placed my bat over the plate to make sure I was in a good position. Looking over at the pitcher, I realized I had no choice but to be ready and swing. The pitcher looked me right in my eyes and gave me a death stare. Chills that went down my spine. It seemed like she was trying to scare me, and boy did it work. I bit my lip and was finally ready. She started her wind up, she went from up to down and spun her arm around with ferocity I’d never experienced in a ball game before. The ball came in so fast it caught me off-guard. I felt the breeze of the ball as it flew on by. One second it was in the pitcher's hand, the next it was in the catcher's glove. "Strike!" yelled the umpire. I stepped out of the box to recollect my thinking. Time to put on my game face, get angry; it’s time to win! I stepped back to the plate, but this time, that nasty look the pitcher gave me, I gave back. This wasn't going to get to me, even if we lose, I always must play my hardest to say I tried. The pitch came in fast and "WAM"!!! I felt the snap of my wrist and the tingle of the vibration from the contact. The ball flew right by shortstop. I dashed to first, as fast as a fire truck going out to an emergency. The ball was so far out, I decided to keep running, so I rounded first base planting my foot on the corner and took a brief turn toward second base. The second baseman was just about to receive the ball; it was going to be a close call. I ran faster and put out one foot and slide through the base about the same time the girl tagged the base. Everyone was silent looking at the empire to see the call. Once he called out to everyone I was safe, everyone was jumping with joy, cheering me on like I was doing some great accomplishment. To me, it really was. I can’t even explain how happy I was. My heart was racing and I had a huge smile from ear to ear. I was really proud, and so was everyone else. But that was just the beginning, and then the game went on.

About The Author:

Throughout my experience as a writer I have accomplished many things. According to my teachers, I am an outstanding student who has advanced a lot in my writing. In my opinion, I have improved a lot over the years. Often as a student, I am energetic and ready to learn. In general, as I describe myself as a energetic teachable student, I express myself as a hardworking student in English. The word ‘hardworking’ best describes my as an English student because each day I try very hard and attempt to improve my reading and writing skills. One example of an improvement in my writing was being more descriptive. Before, when I would write, my work was very plain and wasnt very revealing. Now, I give you context clues and more of an idea on what's happening. However, for next year my goal is to engage the reader more. The reader being hooked on what your writing is very important, and so far with my writing, I’m weak on that but I am going to work on that.

  Final Exam                                               Thomas Williams

                                                                                                                                 period:8

                                                                                                                                  6/12/15

Reading Reflection

Context & Reflection

The reading reflection that I chose to focus on for the final exam was about the weekend when my cousin Lucas came over and played basketball with me. One reason I chose this piece of writing is because it reminds me of how much I enjoy hanging out with him, but also how much I hate losing to my cousin in a game of basketball. It really makes my blood boil and, I can get really defensive! I think that revising this piece will help me to think about the reasons I always lose to him and help me to be a better basketball player. The other reason I chose this piece of writing has to do with the fact that I wrote this piece more recently. I wrote it in the middle of May 2015, and now it is a little over a month later that I am choosing to revise it. The time in between May and now of writing this piece, has allowed me to remember the event more vividly, reflect on how I wrote it, and think about how best to improve it.

The Piece (Revised): Basketball

Every weekend I have chores to do. My mom and dad make me clean my room. I have to strip my bed of its linen, vacuum my room, put anything on the floor away, and clean my bathroom. So, I did the same thing I do every weekend before I could go out and play basketball with my cousin Lucas. I hurriedly stripped my bed of its linen, vacuumed my room, cleaned the bathroom and I went outside. I waited on my porch for my cousin. He told me he would meet me at 12:00 pm on the front porch and we would walk to the basketball court on the corner of Meadow Street and Wood Street across from Tops Grocery Market. I practiced dribbling on my front porch while I was waiting for him. While I was waiting for him, my sister came out on the porch and asked if Lucas had arrived, but I told her not yet. She asked if she could go with us.  I said, “sure”. My sister ran back inside to get her water bottle and by the time she came back out, our cousin Lucas had gotten to our house. As soon as we begin to walk to the court, all I could think about was how I planned to beat him in our basketball match. I was lost in my own thoughts when Lucas asked me, “Have you been practicing some shots?” I said, “yeah and I am going to try them out on you today!” He smiled and laughed. He said, “Okay, we will see.” I smiled and kept thinking about the moves I would use on him. My sister and Lucas kept talking until we got there. When we finally got to the court, all I could do was hear the ball bouncing on the concrete. It made an echoing sound especially since it was just the three of us there. My sister sat on the bench and watched us play. It was almost a blur as to how fast the basketball was moving between us. I was playing defense and he was offense - half court. My cousin was good at playing basketball. He kept dribbling the ball and dunking it. I couldn’t seem to keep him from stealing it from me. He dunked on me so many times and I never got one shot. But I said to him, “I want a rematch!” Then, he said, “Okay lets go.” My sister asked if she could join in the next round and we both said, “sure”. My sister wanted to be on my cousin’s team, so it would be two against one. I needed to concentrate and find the right moment to steal the ball based on my cousin’s physical position and how he was holding the ball. See, he is a lot taller than I am, so I had to use my size to try and beat him. I’m shorter, a lot quicker, and can duck real easy to fake him out. Even though my sister was playing, she could never get the ball from us, so I really didn’t have to worry about her. I remembered what I had been taught by my dad when practicing - “make sure half of your weight is distributed to the fronts or balls of your feet.” “Heel should still be in contact with the ground.” I pointed my feet straight ahead to create an angle that would help me to provide more force against the ground and be stable. I made sure my feet were slightly wider than shoulder width apart. I silently repeated to myself, “hips back & knees bent”, “knees inside of feet to create alignment with your lower body which enables you to explode more efficiently in any direction”, “butt down to stay balanced”, “shoulders over knees, but don’t lean forward too much – bring your hands above your head to help bring the upper body more upright.” I seemed to really focus and before I knew it, I had dribbled to the right, then to the left. I dribbled the ball between my legs and then got really low to the ground. I bounced the ball between my cousin’s legs, darted past him to get the ball and made a jump shot into the basket. I slam-dunked it! I said, “I WIN!!!!” I don’t think my cousin or sister could believe it, but they both walked over to me and said good game.

About the Author

My name is Thomas-Jerome Williams. I am currently a 7th grader at Dewitt Middle school. I enjoy playing sports, especially basketball and baseball. Although I am not the best at writing, I am working on my writing skills. When I think about where I was last year compared to this year, I have tried to do more independent writing without a lot of other people always giving me suggestions. I feel that I have improved because I am working on using more detail in my writing so it is not so plain. I want readers to be interested in what I have to say. All of my English teachers have worked with me, both this year and last year to help develop my writing skills. They’ve helped me to recall certain moments of my life - making me really think deeply/critically about what I did or how something happened. I also think I have improved by editing and revising things I have written. It has helped me to see what I could have done better and make the story come alive.

Slice of Life 4/24

Why I Chose This Piece:

This assignment is from this winter when we wrote a slice of life with an Instagram picture of it. I never got around to drawing my picture but i had a good plan for it. I chose this slice of life because I never completely finished it and thought this idea deserved to be completed.

Slice of Life Piece:

I looked out of the foggy bus window and saw the school named Painted Pole Middle school. “What kind of a name is that? And what kind of weather is this?” I thought to myself. The bus stopped and I got off. The cold air struck me almost immediately and made me want to push my way back onto the bus. I took my lacrosse gear off the bus and started to put my gear on. Despite the fact that I was wearing three layers, I felt like an ice cube out in front of the school. Once I had all of my gear on, I still felt like I was at the north pole (if it didn’t have snow.) Anyway, this was going to be a long and frigid game.

About the Author:

Hi, my name is Reid Hubbell I am in seventh grade and am a fairly average student grade wise. I have improved a lot since last year and look forward to continuing to improve on my writing skills.

Context and Reflection

I chose the “Importance of learning a second language” piece for my final exam. In this argumentitive piece, I’m claiming that learning a second language is important. I explained about why is it important, and lots of advantages that people will get when they know the second language. I did this in other class and I thought this piece is the best writing I wrote, so I decided to revise it. First, I eliminated some un-needed paragraphs by adding them in a one paragraph. Next, I checked my GUMS, and changed some words to academic terms. Finally, I added more imformation to help readers understand better. It was a good chance to look again at my own document to make it better.

Importance of Learning a Second Language

Source 1 : Swedish MRI (http://www.theguardian.com/education/2014/sep/04/what-happens-to-the-brain-language-learning)

These days, all students are learning their second langauge since middle school. Some people say that second language is not useul, and that we dont have to learn it, but some other people are saying that we should learn it. In my opinion, learning a second language is very valuable. There are lots of advantages in your future life when you know another language, it also expands your brain.

First of all, you will have diversity of choices when you are trying to get a job. According to my research data, big company such as Samsung, Apple, and Sony require to speak at leat one another lagnuage rather than the English to their emplayees. Seconly, you will get more options when choosing a college to attaend. Most of colleges in the U.S require one or more foreign language to their students, and most of them have language classes for students. Most importantly, Learning a foreign language expands your brain. It makes you wiser. According to the Swedish MRI, “Learing a second language has visible effects on brain. It showed that specific parts of brains of the language students are more developed than non-language students.” (Paragraph 2).

There are diverse thinking about learning a second language. Although some people think that they don’t have to learn foreign language, I strongly believe we should learn at least one other language than the one we are fluent in. It is good for your future job, life and many other things.

About the Author

Hi, My name is Jake Kim. I am in 7th grade at DeWitt Middle School, and I really enjoy Math class. I play hockey on the modified team, and I’m a professional road biker. I’m a member of NJHS, and I work hard to get the best grades. I have definitely grown as an English student this year. Compared to last year, my grammar was not really good, and I was not good at writing a long essay. But this year, my GUMS have improved a lot, and I have extended my vocabulary. I have also improved my writing skills. Nanowrimo was one of the most interesting activities. It was a great chance to write my own story. Most importantly, I want to thank Ms.Hoffman and Ms. Cernera for helping me improve my writing.