Mary Griffiths English
06-18-15 Period 1
Unforgettable Moments
We had just got done with dinner and my stomach in knots, the car was all packed and ready to jump in and go. First my family made sure we had everything which took about 20 minutes, in the end we did. Which meant we were on the road. We had to drive about 18-20 hours this meant no long stops, we had to keep going. Once we got to South Carolina we took one of our longest stops to go to the bathroom and move or legs. If you think about it we have already drove in the car for 15 hours . My lower body was so numb from sitting for so long. After about 5-6 hours we were finally in Orlando, Florida it was bright, warm, and beautiful. The sun shining , birds chirping, and a light breeze . It was so pretty . After we all took in the beautiful scenery we went to Daytona Beach . I have been to a beach before but… my Brother hasn’t been to a beach before and to see him jumping and swimming in a beach for the first time was pretty touching. After we went to our hotel. Our hotel was amazing there is a mini water park at every hotel tower. Throughout our trip we went to Water parks, Amusement parks, and many more fun and unforgettable things. After all when it was time to head home it truly was great to be home.
About the author
In general, I am a confident student. I am from Dewitt Middle School. As an English student I am a good reader and my writing can not be good but that makes me try harder to get my writing better. I think I have improved in my understanding in how to writing good paragraphs. My reason for improving are so that I can become a good writing so I feel really confident in my pieces. In doing that I have to do more writing in English and reading harder books so I can know more words. In conclusion I hope that my piece of writing was entertaining and I hope I showed you my improvement.
I hated Comic Sans for the About the Author section (why would you EVER do that) and later in the actual assignment, there are spaces between the last word in the sentence and the period, multiple times. But it was an interesting piece of writing. So gud4u
ReplyDeleteVery good! Some past tense errors, but good job! Interesting topic. It reminds me of my road trip last summer with took a whole month! We traveled about 6500 miles from Tucson, AZ to here. It was pretty tough to sit in the car for hours, but I do got to admit, it was an amazing trip.
ReplyDeletePlease fix some GUMMY GUMS. There are some too short sentences that sound stiff and too like boring. It was okay.
ReplyDeleteSeoky's Grade: The number of species of elephants there are, divided by the number of the atomic number of 'oxygen' multiplied by zero, adding five to the sixth power subtracted by one multiplied by zero added by sixty four.