"How Much I Have Changed As A Writer"

Context and Reflection

For my final exam, I have chosen to revise one my favorite slices of life I have written this year. This piece is one of my most recent slices of life, which is where I wanted to show how much my slices of life have changed from when I first started these to this piece. I had chosen this piece because it is one that I had really enjoyed writing this year, and even though this piece was written in April (pretty close to the end of the year), I wanted to revise this to be my best piece yet of all of my slices of life.

The Piece: Un-revised

The air was cold as I eat my peanuts in an enclosed airplane. I had lost track of the time. As usual, my head runs in all sorts of places, as I listen to my shuffled songs on replay for 2 hrs now. Normally, it runs of boredom. Not on plane rides. This whole trip has been full of my thoughts flying everywhere to different topics. One time it’s about my grades; imagining myself failing a test, and of how much fun my beloved friends could be having as I just sit here, imagining. I feel like I’ve been thinking too much, which seems normal, or the weird airplane food that could be throbbing my head. Apart from that, as I shiver, I notice a glistening light which bounces slightly off my glasses, giving the sliver of glare. The loudspeaker comes on announcing our close to departure. I realize that the little light had come from my window. I unplug my headphones and face the little plane window of glass. The view is literally jaw dropping. We have gone close enough to see the beautiful, shining lights and bright buildings below, and the city almost feels alive. The streets talking in loud chatter makes me even more excited to arrive. The city was glowing, and it definitely was a spectacular view on top. The plane has now gotten to lift off the ground and *BANG* he hit the rocky runway. The view was so much to take in. In fact, it was like the view of Houston was better than my whole existence at that moment. It was something a little like perfection.

The Piece: Revised

The air had a subtle breeze to it, making me shiver as I munching on those salty peanuts on this enclosed aircraft. I had lost track of time as I quietly munch on my almonds. My head is running into so many different topics, which isn’t unusual. My music has been on rerun for the past two hours, as I all do is sit in my seat and think. I think about how much fun my friends could be having as I’m stuck on this plane; I think about me failing a test; I think about everything. My brain throbs from all of the thinking I have done, or maybe I’m just sick from all of that airplane food I had snacked on a little while before. Apart from that, as I shiver vigorously, I had noticed a dim yet flash hint on my glasses for a split second. It had given my glasses the smallest sliver of a glare. I suddenly shift my attention to the loudspeaker, which shouts that our arrival is soon. The beam of light had once again hit my glasses. I unplug my headphones playing Taylor Swift’s “Clean”, and turn my head to look out the tiny airplane window. I suddenly am blown away at what I see. The city we hung over had the brightest of lights and the tallest of buildings. The glimmering lights were too beautiful to take my eyes off of. I imagined the city as one of the nicest pieces of artwork I had ever seen created. As we keep getting closer to the ground, the more my eyes linger over the shining city. I am so amazed by the spectacular view, I had jerked myself away from the window, once we had hit the rocky runway. Still in awe, I turn back the right way in my seat. The view was absolutely incredible. For a second there, the city I had overlooked was so much better than my entire existence. It looked and felt a lot like something I call perfection at it’s finest.

About the Author

Hey everyone! My name is Suong Nguyen. I’m from Vietnam and I’m currently 12 years old. I enjoy almost anything that has to do with singing, playing my violin, and basically anything music related. I think as an English student, I am hardworking and I strive to be better than before. I think the difference from me last year in English to now in English, is that I have significantly improved since day one of 6th grade to this end of my 7th grade year. I have learned so many more techniques to enhance my writing and not just make my pieces have some random words on a piece of paper. Not only that, but I have taken the skills I have learned from last year, and have used those to build into my writing to make the pieces I write the best ones yet. Overall, I have shown many huge improvements I have accomplished as an English student and as a 7th grade English writer.