A Normal Day

                 “A Diet of Pizza And Beer.”

This piece of writing should make you shake your head, stomp the ground, and spill tears. It is about a homeless hopeless horrible hobo. In this piece, I will brag my writing skills as much as I can humanly possible, with alliterative adjectives, definite details, and very vamped voice. I chose this piece because it is humorous, hellish, and heedful. In this newly revised piece, I added more multitudes, deep depth, and bouncy background. I hope you excitedly exactly enjoy! Man, that was hard to write.

At midnight, a pot shattered above the ground, four stories up, and its remains sprinkled down to the ground. As it hit the ground, alarms started racing, piercing the silence. The loud whining of the sound split through the silence- the kind that broke glass. Eventually it stopped, creating a little bubble of peace, until it popped with a huge explosion. The building next to Apartment 8 exploded into flames, creating a dust cloud that shook windows and rattled door frames. The heat waves shriveled several lonely cacti in the sand, setting them on fire. The remaining pieces of the building crashed into the ground, which set the ground on fire. It burned through the gritty sand, trailing through the greasy minerals in the ground. It conveniently made a trail back to a generator… and blew it up. Screaming villagers ran out from their apartments, knowing something was wrong, and shoved each other to get out in each other’s way. Some were pierced in the explosion, some burst into flames.  

Robert rolled over in his sleep.

It was a bad day in standards to him, which was to a sense, every day. Naturally, the events just kept plummeting as the day got worse- greasy bacon, slimy eggs, and expired milk for breakfast, with mile-long traffic driving to work, a bad encounter with a car that splashed dirty water on his suit, eleven dragging hours of mindless drilling... Drilling of hard physical labor that required strength that he didn’t have from a diet of pizza and beer. And finally, a demotion from “The Boss,” that sent his salary plummeting until the point it was under the minimum wage.  Oh, and with that demotion, he found that he couldn’t pay his bills for his little sad shack in the middle of nowhere, and that he was now officially homeless… except for one last night.   

So Robert didn’t wake up.

He didn’t hear the pounding feet racing side from his house, he didn’t hear the pot that shattered rather viciously, he didn’t hear the entire explosion, he didn’t hear the screams of dying children- because he was asleep. He deserved it. He had a bad day.  

But what Robert did wake up to was his phone buzzing.

“Mfljakjjkluaiwgqtuhjnb?!” he mumbled, groping for the sound that had awoke his nice slumber, reaching it, feeling the handle, and… dropped it straight into his cat’s water bowl. The electronic handling in it fizzled, and blanked out. Robert sleepily opened his eyes and found the phone in the water, dead bodies piled on the street, felt the ground shaking, and, oh… yes, the building right next to him exploding into countless pieces.

“Bloody communists,” he grumbled.

Enough with the alliterative allured all-around awesomeness. Now it is time to talk about Seokyoung! Yay? As a Super, Spectacular, Sexy Spirit named Seokyoung, Seokyoung believes he tries his best as a student! Not just because it begins with a ‘s,’ (well, partly) but because he believes he can accomplish things through writing. Like, annoy people. That is a plus. As an English student he actually enjoy illegibly octavating uppity writing, (hey look, vowels!) and this year was probably better than last year… Because of the NanoWriMo. In addition, he learned from school some things like grammar, but, honestly, he works best at home writing random things. Seokyoung guesses he improved. Why? Because scientifically, the brain works better through repetition, and boy, did he do a lot of repetition this year! (Just kidding.) Also, Seokyoung wrote a lot of stuff he hates writing- like poetry! Roses are red blue jays are blue the square root of four is two and pi is three point one four one five nine… Sheer poetry! The end.