Softball Tryouts

Context and Reflection:

For my seventh grade English final I have chose to write a Slice of Life about my experience with softball tryouts. While writing this piece I learned how to condense a big event into a small paragraph. I was proud of this piece and I wanted to spend more time perfecting it. The biggest changes I made to my Slice of Life was adding more details about the event. I also worked on my sentences to make them more precise by cutting unnecessary words. By editing this piece the reader should be able to picture the tryouts better since I worked hard on showing not telling.

The Piece:

Everyone sat around the center court circle nervously looking at the office door. The initial  girl walked out of first year coach Murphy's office with tears running down her face. She didn’t make the cut. Some of the girls still waiting to be called into his office were shaking and some biting their nails. The next set of girls to enter the office were eighth graders who played on the team last season. They were almost guaranteed a spot on the team. Three minutes later, they all came out smiling; you could tell they all made the team again. Only eleven spaces were left and I was still sitting on the gym floor. After the eighth graders left his room, he called me and four of my friends into his office. When we walked in he handed us a score sheet telling us our overall grade from the tryouts. There were five basic softball categories: hitting, fielding, time trials, motivation and team spirit. Then he started his speech, and it went something like, “Hey girls, look, all of your team spirits are great. The eighth graders have more experience, but I would like to build a team for next year… so you all made the team.” All of us were so excited that we hugged one another. Then he collected our score sheets and told us to leave but before I left, I turned and said, “Thanks for the opportunity coach! I won’t let you down!” Then I shook his hand. I was so happy I had made the team! The five of us were careful not to be too happy exiting the coach’s office as we knew some of the remaining girls were not going to make the team.  My friends and  I are extremely excited to play in many home and away games, which are coming up shortly. Even though our school hasn’t won a softball game in years, we are looking forward to a difficult challenge and we’re hoping for a win.

About the Author:

My name is Elizabeth Talty. I’m a seventh grade and I always strive to get high marks. This year in English, my class did more reading, writing and researching then we did in sixth grade. Last year I focused more on getting the basics down while this year I was able to develop my critical thinking skills. During our most recent unit I had the chance to learn and research in a more self directed way. I worked in small group with two other classmates to study and present the play “The Taming of the Shrew.” I could not believe I could read and understand one of Shakespeare’s plays. This made me realize how far I have come as an English student.