Introduction
I choose to revise my author of substance because when Ms. Cernera first introduced this topic I was very interested. Also the author of substance project was on of my favorites! I choose this piece because I think it needs the most improvement.
Unrevised:
“An author that I feel timeless about is John Green, I hope that his books stay with me for a long time. They're very influential for many people around the middle school level. In my opinion The Fault In Our Stars really influenced me, it brought a different way to look upon people. If you see a girl that might have something like a disability, why not be with her? She's just like all of us, she might like the same interests but all people could do is judge you by your appearance. That's what I get from Hazel Grace, what I get from John Green.”
Revised piece
John Green, a author who I believe his stories will be pasted on for a long time. John Green’s stories are timeless to me because his books can influence people especially people around the middle school level. John Green’s The Fault In Our Stars influenced the way I look at people. Hazel Grace was judged on her appearance, the people who judged her will never know what kind of person she is inside. Maybe Hazel Grace has the same interests as you, but you’ll never know as a result of judging to early.
About the author
Hello, my name is Ena Bahtic. I strongly believe that I have Improved as a student this year when compared to my writing in previous years. I would say I’m a pretty good writer(and student), but I definitely have room for improvement. I never knew how bad my grammar and word choice was until I looked back at old pieces. I also really liked the projects we did in English this year, Thanks Ms. Cernera!
I like that you talked to the audience in your piece.
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