How I've Changed as a Writer-- Hanalei Clark's Revision on Her First Reading Reflection

How I’ve Changed as a Writer

Context and Reflection

For my Final Exam (*sad face*) I chose my first ever Reading Reflection on The Kill Order. I chose it because I wanted to see my improvement from my first one to my last one of the year. Since revising it, I’ve noticed that I have improved a lot in analyzing what I’m reading and understanding it on a deeper, more sophisticated level. The original piece I wrote was a little dull and lacking creativity. To change this I added a more detailed description of the plot and a spirited, convincing argument of why you should read it. In the original piece, the sentences were one part and short, with each one giving a piece of information in an uninteresting way. The revised piece has compound sentences with loads of opinion and personality. I made my piece much better this way by adding detail and character to my writing.

The Piece

Un-Revised

It’s Monday, and I’m reading The Kill Order by James Dashner. It’s a fiction book about a future dystopia. It’s the fourth book in the Maze Runner Series. If there was a 5th book, (I’m not sure if there is,) I would definetly read it. It’s about how in the future, (stop here if you are planning on reading The Maze Runner, and go to the highlighted word.) sun flares struck the earth and a virus that makes people insane got out. Some things I don’t like much about it are that it is very intense, what’s happening to the characters is very scary, and most of the time the book is very confusing. But, I keep reading it because it is so interesting and it really grabs your attention. I would recommend this book to fans of The Giver, The Hunger Games, and Divergent. But please read the series first!

Revised

It’s Monday and I’m reading The Kill Order by James Dashner. It’s the prequel to the Maze Runner Trilogy, so I suggest that you don’t read this reflection if you don’t want the series spoiled. The Kill Order is a sci-fi, future dystopia which portrays a world where solar flares have struck the earth, killing billions of people. But, that’s just the beginning. The government releases a deadly, wildfire spreading virus, because they want to control the population and save resources, which people call the flare. This virus attacks a part of the brain called the killzone, and drives people insane to the point of cannibalism. I love this book because you get so attached to the characters, it’s like they’re your close friends. You get to feel and see, through James Dashner’s amazing writing and imagery, true pain and the feeling of being driven insane. I know most people would not choose to feel such things, but the book-- and the whole series-- is an experience you don’t want to miss. If you are a fan of dystopian series’ such as Divergent and The Hunger Games, this book is for you. I warn you that there is some gore and traumatizing situations before you run to the library to check out this book, and also that you should read The Maze Runner, The Scorch Trials and The Death Cure before starting this thrilling story.

About the Author

I’m Hanalei Clark (but I’m hoping you already knew that). I love math and reading, and I have three cuddly kitties. I think I’m a pretty good English student, now I’m happy to add personality to my writing instead of objective, boring reflections with no reflection involved. At the beginning of the year, I was scared that my writing wouldn’t be sophisticated enough. Now, I add humor and fun to make it more enjoyable for the reader-- and me! I definitely improved this year because I can really be myself in my writing and have a great time doing it. Thank you SO MUCH Ms. Cernera and Ms. Sherman for being my English teachers and helping me become a great writer. I’ll miss you both! I’ll also miss all of you in my class this year, keep up the good work. Illuminati confirmed.