Lena Wu-Too Much To Handle-Nanowrimo

Context and Reflection:

I decided to use the excerpt, Too Much to Handle from my NaNoWriMo novel, A New World for my final exam. I chose to use my excerpt because I wrote it near the beginning of the year and I probably had poor grammar and punctuation, so I wanted to see how I improved now comparing to then. After reading over my original piece I realized I had trouble with keeping everything in past-tense. Also, I found out that I tended to put way to many commas in places where it wasn't needed. The revised piece showed me that throughout the year I learned how to use punctuation and grammar correctly. Also, in my original piece, it seemed boring and less creative comparing to the revised piece. I added more sophisticated words and changed the dull sentences into interesting ones. Overall, after revising my original piece, it shows that I have way better punctuation and creativity now.

The Piece:

Too Much to Handle

“Hey Mark, Cat, wait up!” I screamed while running to catch up with them. When I finally caught up, they giggled and we started to gossip about a few things happened at school. My first period class was math, which I absolutely hate. It takes less time for a snail to cross the room then it takes for the math teacher to say a sentence. Even though math class is only about 50 minutes, it felt like it lasted years.

I finally got through my next few periods and then, thankfully, lunch. I was just about to take a huge bite out of my sandwich when a man came, and told me to follow him.

“Don’t freak out okay? Everything will be fine. Please just stay calm.” The man said soothingly.

I had no idea who he was, I didn’t even know why he was saying that. I was debating whether or not I should go with him. I decided I should because he probably worked at our school. I whispered shyly, “Okay…?”

The man handed me a phone with a worried look on his face, kind of sad too. I tried not to look completely freaked out and I took the phone.

“Hello? Anyone here?” I heard some man with a deep voice say on the telephone. I reply quietly, “Hello.”

“Is this Samantha Hesting’s daughter, Riley?”

“Um… yes.”

“I have some bad news, can you stay calm?”

“Uh… okay?”

“Your mom got in a car crash. She’s seriously injur-”

“What?! Is she okay? Is she still alive?” My heart started pounding faster than ever. I started sweating like crazy, too freaked out to cry.

“Shhh, calm down. She’s alive… but I she won’t live very long, I wanted you to come down to the hospital and say goodbye.”

I couldn’t hold it in, I started  sobbing and crying, I couldn’t even reply! My mom was all I had… if I lost her, I lost everything. I’ve never felt this confused and frustrated in my whole life, I didn’t know what to do, what to say. I was completely in shock. This was all too much to handle, I couldn't deal with it.  

About the Author:

Hello, I'm Lena. I'm a student at Dewitt Middle School. In my opinion I am a relatively good 

student, because I work hard and always try getting better. Last year I definitely wouldn't be 

able to write this excerpt as well. I've learned so much since then, like how to use punctuation 

properly, how to write dialogue and so much more. In sixth grade I probably would've failed 

completely at writing a novel since I never learned about how to write dialogues and how to 

use commas correctly. Seventh grade has definitely made me into a better, creative, and 

intelligent writer.