Me as a Writer

Me as a Writer

The assignment I picked was my very last Slice of Life. The name of my Slice of Life is called “ First time I Ran Track”.  I chose to revise this because  I thought this was one of my best Slice of Life writing. And I also wanted to show people  how much  I improved throughout the year with my 7th grade writing. I also realized that I have a better understanding of how to write a Slice of Life, and that I also have expanded my word choice by writing more Slice of Life writings. In this piece, I have revised, I have also combined sentences, and I also used different word choice. Now I’m going to show you the piece that I revised.  

Thursday after school I got on the sports bus to go to track, that day was my  first day of track practices. When I got on the bus I looked around before I found a seat to see if a recognized anyone to sit with. But I did not recognize anyone, so I just ended up sitting by myself. Before the bus took us to the high school more kids got on the bus and I estimated that there was at least roughly 29 kids. But if you were to get on the bus and close your eyes you would think that there was at least 37 little kids fighting over a toy. That’s how loud the 7th and 8th graders were on the bus. First, the bus went to the high school to drop off all the students that play varsity and junior varsity sports. Then, we went to the other middle school by the name of Boyton  and dropped off the kids that did modified track. When we got off the bus we had to go straight to the locker rooms and change, we only had 15-20 minutes to change into our track clothes. After, we changed we did some major stretching, by that I mean we were doing toe stretches and other leg stretches. Finally, after we did  30 minutes of stretching the coach told us,
“put on a rain coat because we are going to run to the track and do 6 laps”. So in my head I’m thinking that these 6 laps are going to be a piece of cake. As we arrive to the track we took a 5 minute water break and begin to run the 6 laps. And as we started running it started pouring rain. OH MY GOD I was so mad because it was a perfect day and then it just started raining cats and dogs out of no where. When we ran past the coach, I looked up waiting for him to tell us to stop and to go back inside, but he didn’t he made us keep running. When I heard those words come out his mouth I  screwed my face up the way toddlers does when you tell them they can’t get something from the store. During the third lap “BOOM” it hit my chest started to feel like to was caving in,it felt like I was in a cage with an angry bull, and I was wearing red and the bull just charged at me and hit me right in my chest. My chest was hurting so bad that I had to finish earlier than everyone else. Just as I sat down I started gasping for air. Like when you fishing and you catch a fish and you take it off the hook and it starts gasping for air.  Around 5 minutes later coach told me to start running again. So I got up and gave him the evil eye when he was not looking. And then I jumped in with everyone else. We were all on the ending of the fifth lap going into the sixth. As soon as the sixth lap was over we walked back the middle school. And then all of a sudden I felt another pain but this time it was 0n my side. This pain felt like someone had just punched me in my side. But that did not stop me I was determined to get back to that middle and wait for my father to come pick me. As soon as I got there my dad was already there waiting for me. I went inside got my stuff and came back out to see my dad talking to my coach. When we left I heard my dad call out to my coach and say “ We’ll see you tomorrow”. In my head was thinking “ Oh boy why tomorrow why not next week.” But then it turned out that practice was cancelled the next day so I just went home and iced my pain away.

My name is Tomiyinna and I’m a 7th grade student at DeWitt Middle School.I would describe myself as a student on the rise. I would describe myself as a student on the rise because when I first started off in this class I did not really do much of the work, and I also really didn’t understand it either. When we first started to write Slice of Life writings  I was not doing really well. I felt like my writings weren't as good as I wanted them to be. But then I realized that I would get better over time. So, I kept writing and writing until I felt like my writing has improved and gotten better. And that's why I would call myself a student on a rise.