Slice of Life

Context and Reflection

The assignment that I have chosen is a slice of life piece that I wrote a few months ago that I titled The Beast Below. This piece is a true story about my SCUBA diving experience in Grand Cayman. I chose this piece because it was essentially the bones of a story, but also because I really connected to it. It had potential, but it simply lacked interest. This new and revised piece shows (hopefully) my new and improved ability to make a piece more interesting. Since this piece was just the bones of a story, I had to fill in the gaps by adding sentences and using better, more interesting words.

Without further ado, I give you my [master]piece.

The Beast Below

The warm, salty water closed over my head, and I descended into a world many have never seen. directly below me, a gigantic mass of living rock punctuated with numerous crevasses stretched out as far as the eye could see.The remainder of my small group descended into the same inky blue world that I had already become lost in. Our guide led us down to a deeper level of rock, and we entered a crevasse in the reef. As we entered, the light got dimmer, in a rather foreboding way. I have never been claustrophobic, but these crevasses, while long, were extremely narrow. My heartbeat sped up, and bubbles left my regulator more often than before, as I knew there would be venomous lionfish lurking right out of sight in cracks and crevices. However, the view offset all of this. We were squeezed into a space surrounded by giant walls of rock that were taller than any human being, making me feel like a minuscule fish. I looked up, but all I could see was the blue water above us. Large, curious fish decided to swim with us, but I knew they wouldn’t harm us. However, they had a very commanding presence, as some of them were four to five feet long. The coral growing on the swim throughs was amazing as well. What these corals lacked in color, they made up for it with their shape and size. Many were long and thin, like strands of hair. Others were like big tubes, with the occasional fish darting in and out. Some of the really weird ones looked like hands reaching out.

The swim through slowly widened out as we exited. I felt a little safer, as there weren't as many crevices for lionfish to hide in. without warning, the guide banged four times on his tank. The banging was to alert us to any interesting or possibly dangerous marine life. He pointed over my shoulder. I turned slightly, but didn’t notice anything unusual, so I disregarded the guide. As you can probably guess, this was a bad call. The banging came more urgently, and this time I turned around all the way. Just in time to see the giant, six foot long green moray eel snaking its way around me, almost touching my wetsuit. For that one fleeting moment, my heart was racing, but not out of fear. Yes, morays are more prone to attack humans than sharks, but this creature was captivating. Its body gently undulated over, around, and in the reef. Alas, those few moments went by in a flash, and it was as if the eel had never been there. I had hoped that the eel would show his little green face later, but he did not reappear.

About the Author

My name is Eric Rosenblum, and if you haven’t already figured this out, I love SCUBA diving. I like the ocean and everything to do with it, as I was born in North Carolina. I think of myself as a good student, and I enjoy Math and Science a lot. As an English student, I think that I am considerably more thoughtful in my writing than last year. Rather than writing random stuff that comes to mind, I actually plan a little about what I write.  Also, I use voice in my writing now, which is something that I didn’t even have a concept of in sixth grade. In terms of improvement, I think that I have improved quite a bit, mostly because I was forced to write more, and write harder pieces. Ms. Cernera pushed me, forcing me to improve my writing skills, and without that, I would’ve stayed at that sixth grade level of writing.

Afterword

Everyone who read this post must read the entire Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy series. They are the best books that I have ever read, and they are almost like my inspiration. Anyone who has not read them must read them. 42