For my final exam, the assignment I decided to bring back to life is a slice of life, from the Super G ski race at the U14 state championships at Gore mountain. I chose this assignment because it was one of my more interesting writings from this year. I was searching through my playbook to find a piece to use for this assignment and I came across this writing, and new that after I made a few key changes it would be perfect for this assignment. After I made multiple grammar and punctuation corrections to this piece, it seemed to flow way better.
States SG
Beeeeeeeep, Beep Beep Beep went the start timer as I flew out of the start house. I could hear other racers cheering in the background as I disappeared over the head wall on Super G skis. I had only gone around three gates but already felt like I was going 100 mph as I raced down the hill! Gates just kept coming and coming, it felt like they were flying toward me as I raced down the winding trail called Echo at gore mountain. My legs were already numb and felt like rubber as the massive jump appeared in sight. I flew over the jump gliding like a bird not knowing when I would hit the ground. As my skis hit the ground I was out of control fighting to make the next turn. The finish was still invisible as I steered my way over blaze ice rollers in between the gates. My legs were screaming and yelling in pain as I carved my razor sharp skis up around a bank turn like hawk. The finish line was in sight, but I wasn't there yet. The hardest most challenging part of the race still lied ahead of me, the last turn! I bent over into a tuck as my skis crossed the finish line. I felt a big sigh of relief as the finish line was behind me in my tracks. I was about ready to tip over as my teammates appeared in sight.
About The Author:
My name is Ryan Morse. I have definitely developed as a reader and writer during my 7th grade year at Dewitt Middle School. Although reading and writing may not be my favorite hobby, I do enjoy writing slice of life. I really enjoyed this assignment, taking one of your not so good pieces and turning it into your best piece. My writings did not use to flow very well at all, and my grammar and punctuation was terrible. 7th grade English class has really transformed both my reading and writing skills
That was a great story. It was very exciting. Great detail!
ReplyDeleteI like all the similes and metaphors
ReplyDeleteYou did a good job about describing the excitement of that moment. I also liked the details when you're skiing. well done.
ReplyDelete